Hi, all. First of, I'd like to applaud the distinguished owner for such a magnificent idea of opening this blog and of course, the admin team who are as illustrious as its owner. Next, the ever so avid readers who're constantly back, ravenous for new and exciting stories. Before I start, I'd like to clarify that my story may or may not be as interesting as the rest but with all the hoo-haa going on about the lack of new stories to publish, the fact that the stories are side-tracking and what not, I hope w/ my story, it'll bring the ball back rolling but lastly, before I do, I would like to sincerely apologize if what I might say may seem like as if I am prejudiced or that I am stereotyping or belittling anyone or anything along that line. I am not.

Okay, I think I talk too much. So here goes, story time.

I guess, when I was in my teen days, I was one of those rebels who are so naive. I assume everyone's had their glam and glitz years- You know, the phase when boys suddenly wakes up one day to find their voices different and surprisingly, foul body-odours need to be driven away asap. For us girls, it's when we had our conscience altered into thinking that being the most popular(prettiest) girl in school matters a lot and that includes amazing assets, flawless face and of course, having the best boyfriend.

I'm not sure about you but that's how it rolls in my high school. Dating someone your age was a huge social suicide. We aimed higher and apparently, that's what got me into a huge mess. It was that "mat motor" phase where you see a lot of designs and cuttings around and being w one of them simply puts you in the top list of popular, I guess? I mean, a high school girl aged 14-16 w a mat who rides a bike. That, during that time, was the only thing that made all heads turn.

I knew this man almost half my age. I was 15 and he was 22. Like I said, I was naive and was helplessly blinded by 'fame' that I jumped into a relationship w/ him one to two days after knowing him. He was like my trophy boyfriend and I, being captain of netball, cross country and cheer leading which simply means I got the junk to be his trophy girlfriend, in-distinctively became his booty call. To be honest, the relationship wasn't really a r/s in the beginning because we both know that we had ulterior motives but after a few screwing ups and cuddling next to each other just talking, we actually did fell in love. Or so I thought, seriously.

So that r/s went on for about 4-5 months. In that period, we met each others' parents and families. We began hanging out more often like real couples do, spending quality time at his place w his Mom and Dad, we talk about things like real couples do and what not. He behaved like a responsible man and I behaved like an obedient girlfriend. Of course, this meant him intruding into my space, telling me what I can or can not do, wear and say. I was agreeable and in a way or two, it blessed both our families. My family thought he was a good influence on me as I then went back home straight after school(no more shopping mall and lepak w gfs and I was made to cut all contacts w them), paid more attention to my studies and what not while his family thought I was some kind of angel sent from Heavens for he finally could hold a job and be a lot less rude and defiant and became so responsible. His mom was the most excited one among all of us. Kept blabbering how the both of us should quickly get hitched the moment I finished my O's and move in to Australia with his family. See, his mom married an Australian, which made him "Maltralian". Oh you know what that means.

What they don't know is, we were still sleeping w each other only this time, instead of just the usual fuck for pleasure, we were really making love to each other.

Soon, his parents left for Perth and he had the whole house to himself. His mom rented out one of the remaining rooms to a childhood friend of his. The mom also gave me an extra set of keys to the house, leaving both me and him the master bedroom. Soon after, his friend, Yan and his girlfriend, Zahra, moved in. I had no bleeding clue what Yan worked as but I knew Zahra was a divorcee w two boys and was a hostess. Of course, Mom didn't know about Yan moving in w that slut.

However, things went deadly sour after the fifth month. Usually his routine every day without fail, was to call me when he woke up, call me again before he left for work, call me again when he reached work, call me after that during his break, call me when he finally finished working which we will then decide if we wanted to meet for that day. It was a routine I never called for but he took the initiative to do it.

See, I am a v simple girl. I live by the policy, "I've given you this amount of trust and if you really see it, you wouldn't misuse it so go have fun w your boys, wherever you wanna go. Just know your limits". I had no hesitations w him drinking or clubbing or those man activities he did but I made it v clear to him that I want him to leave the place, wherever he was at, alone and straight home. The reverse psychology technique and it always works, till this date.

Back to my old man, he knew that he needed to be responsible over me so he actually stopped clubbing and drinking, on his own accord and that there were one or two times he hung out w his boys but did exactly what I wanted him to. When asked if he did anything silly, all he said was, "Yea, the girl kissed me and I kissed back. She had her hands all over me but I kept mine closely to myself. She asked if we wanna go outside where it's private but I remembered you when you said you'll kill the bitch and make my life miserable after that. I'm not up for being miserable my whole entire life". I smiled, knowing that I know him that well to know he was telling me thr truth. So you see, I am simple and v open-minded.

So after that 5th month, he suddenly disappeared. He didn't call nor text the first day and only returned my calls and texts late in the night. He reasoned that he had a busy day today when he woke up late. The next day, the same thing happened. Again, he told me that he was lacking of rest and he woke up late again. By this time, I knew something was fishy somewhere. The third day, after he left for work, I went back to the apartment. Of course, he has left for work(thank god for that) for I found an extra tramp living in that space I called my second home. That lady was Zahra's colleague, stick thin and had ink as her skin. I remembered her vividly. Her hair was a massive, dried and tangled lump of rusty colored strands. She was wearing this tiny blue shorts under her skeleton hugging white tank top where her minuscule nipples protruded through. I remembered dragging Yan into my room and imposing my authority on that space and pressed on information abt tht woman because somewhere deep down, I know this woman must've got smtg to do w the change of my man. Learnt, just like Zahra, she was a soon to be divorcee of a kid and that she was just crashing over for 'that night' because they(Z and Her) got in pretty late from their shift last night and she was escaping from her drunkard husband who hits her all the time(I dnt see why not, really).

After that explanation, I went to clean up the whole place because apparently, they turned the place into a huge dumpster w all the empty beer cans lying around. It's not that I was cleaning up after them, it was just that I have that amount of respect for his mum who entrusted me w her home, in which, becoming my second home. The three of them, were in Yan's room. See the apartment was a 5-room flat so they do have another room where I assume minuscule nipples must've crashed in because it was kind of messy when I opened in up. I thanked Heavens that my room wasn't crumpled in anyways, esp the bedsheets.

So for that first time in that week, my ex-bf texted me first, asking me what was I doing at his house. I told him I was just checking up on it and he told me to wait for him to get home to talk things out, knowing I was upset w that uninvited guest. We didn't argue over it when he eventually came home after that. We just talked it out and he said he was sorry and I wasn't about to push his buttons. He did look v worn out and we eventually fell asleep in each others' arms while talking, which proves he really was that tired since he didn't wait for me to sleep first before he did.

So things were okay the next day when he left for work and I left for school(yea i was still in high school!). He got up to his same antic he did for that one week so I decided to let the matter rest a bit and not push it further by ringing his mobile. When I came back later in the evening, the locks were changed. It was infuriating, I thought. I texted him but there wasn't any replies that in the end, I gave up.

Three days later, he called me, saying he was admitted to CGH. Apparently, he suffered some rare sickness that swelled up his feet pretty badly till he can't walk. I visited him and we talked per normal but as the hours passed, his old design friends started streaming into the room w minuscule nipples and from that moment on, I knew I've lost him there.

The next day, I went back to the ward to look for him but his bed was empty. I called him asking him where was he and I promise you this was exactly how it went..
Me: "Where you, b? You still in hospital ke you go home already?"
Him:*v noisy background and slutty giggling*"Oh, tak ah maseh lom boleh balek (Not yet). They sent me to SGH t do further inspection of my blood cells. Where you?"
Me: "Rumah(Home) ah. Thought you have gone back. What time will you be back?"
Him: "Not sure. Should be late. There are many patients here"
Me: "Oh? Were you referred?"
Him: "Ya! They sent me here"
Me: "Then you should be having your inspection now what, instead of waiting for your turn like the rest who weren't referred from other hospitals"
Him: "Entah lah, tak payah dtg la you besok je la!"

I got reeeaaaaalllly suspicious so I went to the staff nurse to check for any records of the patient being referred to SGH and guess what, NO. I got embarrassed when the nurses gave me a, "Ape je, mana kita refer patient gi mana2 kau gila ke bodoh?!" I was already so fuming mad by then, went down for a few sticks of cigarettes and right after one hour, I got back up again and barged straight into his room. Nicely perched by his bed was slutty minuscule nipples, fondling his groin while kissing him on his neck. He, looked like he enjoyed it of course.

I was pretty amazed that no matter how i was shaking in fury, I was still able to keep my cool, walk over to the bed and stood there, which of course startled them. I took his phone and start to scan through his messags. That one whole week of silenced was indeed spent w her. As if on cue, he told the girl to leave and started apologizing to me, crying. He then explained all the who, what, why, when, how to me. He told me he did it because I was seldom around to sleepover anymore and that he felt lonely and tht minuscule nipples weren't some girl he picked up at a bar. She was really Z's colleague and she brought her home but since his sexual needs that particular day were rapidly increasing, he drowned himself into his whirlpool of lust, which made him too guilt-ridden to come back and talk to me. But it soon became a habit w Minuscule Nipples and that he knew his old character was back like when I first met him. I knew by the feel of my shattered heart(And I swear I almost believed I heard it shattering into millions of pieces), it was over, no matter how I ached to let us have another go at it.

We never spoke again but his Mom kept prying so she found out soon but wasn't from me. Came back on the first flight from Australia and threw the all three of them out. My ex bf, agaknya dah kene mandrem ngn pompan tu (being hocus pocus by the woman), followed the girl.

However, my plight doesn't end there. Though I was able to pick up all the tiny pieces together, something wasn't finished. I went for a run 2 months after that break up one Thursday night but suffered a massive cramp from my stomach down. It felt like stomach cramp but ten times worse. So my mother brought me to CGH that night and lo and behold, I was 7 freaking months pregnant!! See, my period is VERY irregular and sometimes it doesn't come for 9 months straight so i think its normal and there wasn't any visible baby bump visible . I was still doing my jumps for cheer leading and my squad was still throwing me up in the air and i go for my long runs as per usual and all so that's why it wasn't seen. It was a baby girl in the sonogram.

Called up his Mom to inform her about this because there was NO bleeding way was i ever talking to him again. his mom was super ecstatic upon hearing the news, walaupun anak luar nikah (born out of wedlock). She fancies me that much actually that she started planning the wedding w me over the phone and made plans for both of us to fly to Perth straight away. I told her that i want a brighter future for myself and that i want a career that I've longed for. i made her call up her son and tell him this news and that i have opted for an adoption as it was too far out to be aborted. Mom was devastated upon this news, of course but she complied. I also told her that my family and myself would not want to do this ourselves as we all know that the bills will be costly and that we needed help. his mom agreed and promised to speak to him about him.

I got a call from him the next day, THREATENING me, rather. First he pleaded that we get married because he missed me and that he changed but when i say no, all he said was, "Then I guess you can forget about me helping out in any med fees. Aku nak tlg kau kau tk nk kan. Aku nak nikah ngn kau kau jual mahal kan. so kau gi settle sendiri" (I wanted to help you, you didn't want it. I wanted to marry you, you didn't want it. So you want to play hard to get, then you can settle your own medical bills alone!). So extremely rude, really. I told him that HELP doesn't only come by wedding me. That was not HELP. Help can be shown in other ways, like helping me w the med bills.

I nvr heard from him again for the next one week but the following, his mum called me and started screaming at me. she told me and my dad that I was a pompan rolling and tht my ex and his design friends all did me at the same time and that the baby's real dad is unknown. Lagi biadap yg nie. I was startled and offended by that accusation that my dad said, "If that's what really happen, then I am dragging your son and his friends to the court for having sex w a girl who was only 15(i was already 16 at that point of time, da bday. hahah)". That made him so scared that he admitted that he was the only one and that he was sorry but my dad has decided that sorry alone, wasn't enough to pay of the bills and of course, what he has done. All that heart ache back to back, was terrible.

It's been almost 3 and a half years now. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy alone on a special date. Although I gave him up for adoption, the scars on my body serves as a reminder to me how hellish it was to have loved someone so much, be crushed by it and bore the child in your stomach alone. Sometimes, when I look back, I ponder, what was it like if I were to marry him, not having to go through the same heart ache of missing my son and wondering how my son is now and living in Australia with him? But sometimes, I also wonder, if I've done that, would I be here now where I graduated with an Advanced Diploma in a course I've always loved, having the career of my dreams, dating someone who is worth my all and living in the country that I've always wanted to? If I'd marry that wretch off, would I be here, typing this entry for the world of young teens to know that strength is the most beautiful thing a woman can possess and once you empower it, nothing can stop you from doing what you've always believed in and what you think is right for no one else, but YOU.

I know everyone wants to be in the IN crowd during their growing up years. I know everyone want something to remember about in their sec sch life because that's the best part of your life. But pls remember to see things in the long run if you wanna make a choice. Ending up being pregnant alone and not having to see your baby after that is, to me, the suckiest thing a woman can ever go through.

OKAY, SORRY PANJANG SNGT! XOXO!