Sunday, July 11, 2010
Why we ladies tend to stay?
Why do ladies stay with a not-so-great Mat(s)? Why do ladies stay when they are being abused? Why don't women leave when the Mat(s) is mean and rude?
I hear these questions frequently when people notice a lady remaining with a mean or cruel Mat. I also hear these questions from ladies in unhealthy or abusive relationships...women who want to leave but just "can't". So orang kate ni, bebual macam paham tapi tak tinggalkan langsung.
The answers are complex and multifaceted. Each situation differs and involves very particular and specific situations, beliefs, and circumstances.
Fear
Ladies often fear there will be physical harm if they leave, they will lose custody of their children bagi sape-sape yang dah khawin lah kan, or be negatively judged by family or friends. Many ladies fear they will not be able to support themselves, and have no where to go if they leave. Some ladies fear the unknown and would rather remain in an unhealthy situation than venture out on their own.
Duty
Some ladies believe they are failing if they give up. Others may feel they are responsible for the FAILED relationship and do not know what is or is not acceptable behavior. Some ladies feel sorry for their partner or believe they can make him better and help him to change. Nie part like hell _________.
Insecurity
Many ladies had their self-esteem damaged and do not know if they can manage outside the relationship. Many ladies are tired and lack the emotional support to help them leave. Some ladies are isolated with few friends or family involved in their lives. There are ladies who believe they will not find another Mat(s) so better to be with a horrible Mat(s) than not have a Mat(s) in her life.
Irrational beliefs
Some ladies don't leave because they keep thinking things will get better. After an incident, when the Mat apologizes, things are great and a lady may be hopeful that things will be different. Some ladies feel ashamed to admit the relationship is not working out, or they may feel guilty because her Mat has made her believe his abuse is her fault.
Actually kan semua couple boleh work through their problems and create a great relationship. itupon kalau you ader partner you yang boleh paham you, vice versa.
Having said this, I am also for keeping ladies safe, and for supporting a ladies decision to leave if her relationship is harming her. This is not easy for most ladies, BETOL?
LOVE,
ALEESHA
typicalmatsays owner ¶ 1:22:00 AM
I hear these questions frequently when people notice a lady remaining with a mean or cruel Mat. I also hear these questions from ladies in unhealthy or abusive relationships...women who want to leave but just "can't". So orang kate ni, bebual macam paham tapi tak tinggalkan langsung.
The answers are complex and multifaceted. Each situation differs and involves very particular and specific situations, beliefs, and circumstances.
Fear
Ladies often fear there will be physical harm if they leave, they will lose custody of their children bagi sape-sape yang dah khawin lah kan, or be negatively judged by family or friends. Many ladies fear they will not be able to support themselves, and have no where to go if they leave. Some ladies fear the unknown and would rather remain in an unhealthy situation than venture out on their own.
Duty
Some ladies believe they are failing if they give up. Others may feel they are responsible for the FAILED relationship and do not know what is or is not acceptable behavior. Some ladies feel sorry for their partner or believe they can make him better and help him to change. Nie part like hell _________.
Insecurity
Many ladies had their self-esteem damaged and do not know if they can manage outside the relationship. Many ladies are tired and lack the emotional support to help them leave. Some ladies are isolated with few friends or family involved in their lives. There are ladies who believe they will not find another Mat(s) so better to be with a horrible Mat(s) than not have a Mat(s) in her life.
Irrational beliefs
Some ladies don't leave because they keep thinking things will get better. After an incident, when the Mat apologizes, things are great and a lady may be hopeful that things will be different. Some ladies feel ashamed to admit the relationship is not working out, or they may feel guilty because her Mat has made her believe his abuse is her fault.
Actually kan semua couple boleh work through their problems and create a great relationship. itupon kalau you ader partner you yang boleh paham you, vice versa.
Having said this, I am also for keeping ladies safe, and for supporting a ladies decision to leave if her relationship is harming her. This is not easy for most ladies, BETOL?
LOVE,
ALEESHA
typicalmatsays owner ¶ 1:22:00 AM
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