cycle of being used Aleesha here, writing in for TMS as usual. I've been hearing news how we ladies been used badly by our Mats. Be it through financial or sexual or simple companion.

If your self-esteem is strong and healthy, you are less likely to be used by any Mats in singapore(teehee).
Contrariwise, ladies with low self-esteem and feeling of insecurity and worthlessness are often vulnerable to the use and degradation of not-so-great Mat. This is what we call 'Mat takde masa depan'

Over and over I see young women with low self esteem who think that if a Mat gives them attention it means they are valuable. Or if they have sex with a Mat, then he will love them. Not so. Totally NO.
There is a big difference between a great Mat wanting to be with a lady (like you, you and you) , and a not-so-great Mat wanting to use whomever they can find for an hour or so. Ouh well, macam one night stand gitu.

We are valuable because we are a human being. Regardless of the views of all the Mat(s) in Singapore, you are important. You have unique talents, traits, and ideas that have nothing to do with how not-so-great Mat(s) view you sexually. Your worth is not dependent on a bunch of Mat(s) who want nothing more than someone to take care of their needs.

Here is what often happens...

1. A woman lacks self-esteem, feels unattractive, worthless or unappealing to all Mat(s).
2. She feels horrible about herself and thinks she is not worthy of a great Mat(s).
3. She takes unhealthy attention from any Mat(s) - Slaps forehead hard, who is in need of sexual pleasure.
4. She really wants a Mat to give her attention to help her feel valuable so she gives herself to whomever gives her a glance.

And so the cycle continues. Macam recycling bin gitu, uhhh macam gitu uh hidup korang nanti jadi.

How does a lady break the cycle?

You strengthen your self-esteem. You decide that you will not be taken advantage of again. You become strong and secure. You let go of the idea that your value is dependent on your sexual appeal to any Mat(s). You take back your strength.

I'm not suggesting it is easy. In truth it is often most difficult. But, until a lady decides she is not going to be used, she will continue to be vulnerable... she will continue to get hurt. Nanti dah pedih-pedih, sape mau pi layan kau? Mat sengkek2? no, they will leave you there.

Those Mat who use you are not the kind of Mat(s) you want to be with. They are not the type of Mat(s) who make for a great husband or long term partner. like duhhh~ takkan aku nak kena ajar ni part kan?
There are great Mat(s) out there (believe it or not) who want a healthy and happy relationship. There are great Mat(s) who won't take advantage of a vulnerable insecure woman eventhough i should say: only a handful are left still.

with love,
Aleesha.
typicalMATsays owner.  ¶ 2:06:00 AM