Saturday, March 6, 2010
Used to be Engaged Mat
Hi everyone! I've been an avid reader of TMS since last year and I've been contemplating on whether to share my story here but I've decided to share because I don't want other girls to face this situation like I did. Anyway, for the sake of our non-malay friends, I'll be typing in english. :) P.S it's going to be long.
From then on, we exchanged messages through friendster because it seemed that both of us were shy to ask for each other's msn or handphone number. One day, I went to a coffeeshop nearby our place since we lived near each other, I saw him and his group of friends whom I also knew back in 2004 but both of us were shy to approach one another.
After a couple of weeks of exchanging messages through Friendster, I asked him for his msn and from there, we chatted everyday without fail and soon after, we exchanged our handphone number and talked till the wee hours. After building up my confidence to meet another guy since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he was such a MothaF***ing cheater (that is another story, my friends), I asked him if he want to hang out and chat over drinks with me. My mat at that point of time was a very shy guy. Worst than a girl but I find it cute. So we decided to meet for dinner.
From the dinner date till late May, we met up almost everyday and we were so close and throughout our dates, we would share things and we found out that we have alot of similarities. One of the similarities was that my ex-boyfriend of 8 months cheated on me when I was overseas for 2 weeks and my mat's ex-fiance cheated on him a number of times throughout their 5 years relationship. Around mid-May to late-may, he asked me to be girlfriend and I was reluctant at first because my trust for guys was na-dah, ZERO! Hence, I don't want that to be an issue if I were to be with my mat at that time but after showing that he cared about me and give me all the time I need and because I can see that he was truthful to me, I agreed to be his girlfriend.
When I became his girlfriend, he assured me that he and his ex are no longer in contact and they was nothing between them anymore, I believed him. Until one day when he fetched me back from work and we were entering the carpark, I saw a group of girls but it was weird because as my mat entered the carpark, all of them were staring. When I got down the bike, he told me that his ex-fiance was there and suddenly, his phone was ringing and he told me that it was his ex-fiancee calling. He answered the call in front of me and he told his ex-fiance that he doesn't want to be with her anymore because from the time they broke up till he met me, she didn't show any effort of wanting the relationhip back so he moved on.
I know he hadn't really moved on. Come on, who would easily moved on when the relationship had been as long as 5 years? When he finished talking with his ex, he told me that his ex-fiance wanted him back and she was crying and begging him to patch back but he didn't want because why at that point of time she wanted to patch when she had all the time before she saw my mat with me? Moreover, he told me that he didn't want a fiancee or a future wife to be a cheater and he don't want to come home one day to find his wife in bed with another man.
However, he told me that his ex-fiance wanted to meet him and talked things out and my mat assured me that he would never ever ever patched up with her no matter what because he is already with me. Anyway, that incident happened when our relationship was still new, 3 weeks or so. He told me that he can't bring me along because it's between them two and I respected it but when I was home, I was so nervous and scared because I was beginning to fall in love with my mat and shit just had to happen. Few hours later, he called me and told me that everything was settled and he still wanted to be with me.
Throughout our relationship, he told me that his ex wanted to meet him to take her stuffs back which occured in 2 different occassions. I was like, WTF!! because she could simply take it at one go. First to take her bag and then her camera. My mat told me that his mum would pass her the bag so I don't have to worry because since I got cheated with my ex-boyfriend, I get easily insecured over little things. The camera, however, my mat passed it to her but what I don't understand is my mat can pass it to her under the blk but he asked her to come up. My mat is another bloody fool. When I found out that he asked her up, of course, I scolded him like there's no tomorrow because he can pass it to her under the blk but he told me that he didn't think it was wrong because he just wanted to pass the camera. Because of this 2 incidents, we often get into big argument.
When our relationship was around 1 year old, I chanced upon his ex-fiance's blog and of course, I would read her archives and all and she portrays to be a 'Lesbian'. In her blog in one of her archives, she blogged that she went to his house to take the her bag (Note that my mat told me his mum passed it to her but he lied to me because he didn't want me to be jealous.) and when she took her bag, she and my mat were sitting together holding hands and she said that my mat asked her if she would wait for him in 3-4 years' time if I am not with him anymore. Imagine my temper when I read all that! I was so sad, angry and I burst into tears just by reading her blog. I confronted my bf and he admitted to me and he apologised to me. I asked him if he have no faith in our relationship, why did he be with me in the first place? I felt that I was just a rebound to him but he told me that I am not his rebound. God only knows. If he regarded me as his girlfriend of 1 year plus, why did he hold his ex's hand? As I am typing this, I still feel the pain because I shared with him about how I don't trust guys and when I really trusted my mat, he did shit to me.
Another incident was when his ex-fiance's dad was admitted to hospital. He lied to me that his uncle was admitted and when I went to his ex-fiance's blog, she blogged that her dad was admitted to the hospital. What a coincidence, I thought. So I told my mat that I knew it wasn't his uncle that was admitted but it was her dad. My bf again admitted and apologised and said that it was a white lie and he didn't want me to feel hurt and jealous and that he went there with his mum. Only God knows if he said that truth.
After all these incidents, our arguments was always due to this and my trust for him was ZERO. At one point of time, he called his ex-fiancee's mum to talk to her and he told her infront of me that he would never ever go back to her and forget about the going back together in 3-4 years and that, I was better than her. Despite all this that my mat did to make me trust him back, it is damn hard for me to trust him.
I am still with this mat, going to 2 years but almost everday, we would always argue. Call me stupid but I really love him and knowing my mat as a boyfriend for almost 2 years, at times, I can see how stupid and how slow he can be and maybe because of this, maybe he did what he did in the past but I accept him for the way he is but I am still sad that I'm being treated like this in the past even though I did not cheat him like his ex-fiance did.
I almost forget one important thing. His ex-fiance stayed in the same estate as me and my mat so it wouldn't be a surprise if I knew her friends or she knew mine. I have one used-to-be friend (we are longer friends or acquintance) who knew my mat's ex-fiance. She digged my past through that used-to-be friend and called me names like 'Prompuan-Rolling' over msn with one of her friends who is also my friend. My friend showed me the msn chat hence, I saw it with my own eyes! She also said that I was with my mat just for his bike and when my mat changed bike, she said that my mat didn't have enough money so he asked from his mat. I knew all this because one of her 'friends' told me and . I can't help but to hate her as well for ruin my relationship with my mat. She dared to call me 'Prompuan-Rolling' but when my mat confronted her, she denied. Such coward, she is. She dared to call me 'Prompuan Rolling' when she herself slept and cheated with my mat when they were together. Urggh!
So girls, I hope that if you are about to get to know your mat or if your mat ever got engaged, try to find out if he and his ex-fiancee have really broken up or there are things that are not cleared because it might trouble your relationship and one advice I always give my friends, try to avoid guys who got engaged before and also married guys, of course. Sometimes, it is not just the ex-fiancee's fault. It's the mat's fault for lying and not being honest about things that might damage a relationship. Up till now, I still have much difficulty trusting my mat but hey, it ain't my fault. Trust need to be earned, right girl? :) ¶ 10:15:00 AM
From:__________________________
Sent: 02 March 2010 23: 25PM To: knowyourmats@hotmail.com
Hi everyone! I've been an avid reader of TMS since last year and I've been contemplating on whether to share my story here but I've decided to share because I don't want other girls to face this situation like I did. Anyway, for the sake of our non-malay friends, I'll be typing in english. :) P.S it's going to be long.I've known my mat since 2004 through a friend but we weren't close at all. We were just the hi-bye kind of friends and since he lived around my area, at times we will bump into each other, just asking 'How are you? Where are you going?' whenever we bumped into each other. So from 2004 till 2008, we were just acquintance and I heard that he was engaged in 2005 and I am not the kind who would be close to attached/engaged guys because I have had bad experiences.
So in March 2008, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and at that time, I was very much active in Friendster. One day, around Mid-April, I was hopping from one's friends' list to another till I saw my mat's friendster. I thought he was still engaged so I didn't add him up even though we were friends because some girls don't like their fiance to have girl friends. Much to my surprise, he sent me a message the next day saying, 'Hey! Why didn't you add me up? Forgotten your friend here?' So I replied, 'Nah, I remembered you. Thought you were engaged and your fiancee might not like the idea of you having girl friends.' Then he told me that they have broken up in March.
From then on, we exchanged messages through friendster because it seemed that both of us were shy to ask for each other's msn or handphone number. One day, I went to a coffeeshop nearby our place since we lived near each other, I saw him and his group of friends whom I also knew back in 2004 but both of us were shy to approach one another.
After a couple of weeks of exchanging messages through Friendster, I asked him for his msn and from there, we chatted everyday without fail and soon after, we exchanged our handphone number and talked till the wee hours. After building up my confidence to meet another guy since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he was such a MothaF***ing cheater (that is another story, my friends), I asked him if he want to hang out and chat over drinks with me. My mat at that point of time was a very shy guy. Worst than a girl but I find it cute. So we decided to meet for dinner.
From the dinner date till late May, we met up almost everyday and we were so close and throughout our dates, we would share things and we found out that we have alot of similarities. One of the similarities was that my ex-boyfriend of 8 months cheated on me when I was overseas for 2 weeks and my mat's ex-fiance cheated on him a number of times throughout their 5 years relationship. Around mid-May to late-may, he asked me to be girlfriend and I was reluctant at first because my trust for guys was na-dah, ZERO! Hence, I don't want that to be an issue if I were to be with my mat at that time but after showing that he cared about me and give me all the time I need and because I can see that he was truthful to me, I agreed to be his girlfriend.
When I became his girlfriend, he assured me that he and his ex are no longer in contact and they was nothing between them anymore, I believed him. Until one day when he fetched me back from work and we were entering the carpark, I saw a group of girls but it was weird because as my mat entered the carpark, all of them were staring. When I got down the bike, he told me that his ex-fiance was there and suddenly, his phone was ringing and he told me that it was his ex-fiancee calling. He answered the call in front of me and he told his ex-fiance that he doesn't want to be with her anymore because from the time they broke up till he met me, she didn't show any effort of wanting the relationhip back so he moved on.
I know he hadn't really moved on. Come on, who would easily moved on when the relationship had been as long as 5 years? When he finished talking with his ex, he told me that his ex-fiance wanted him back and she was crying and begging him to patch back but he didn't want because why at that point of time she wanted to patch when she had all the time before she saw my mat with me? Moreover, he told me that he didn't want a fiancee or a future wife to be a cheater and he don't want to come home one day to find his wife in bed with another man.
However, he told me that his ex-fiance wanted to meet him and talked things out and my mat assured me that he would never ever ever patched up with her no matter what because he is already with me. Anyway, that incident happened when our relationship was still new, 3 weeks or so. He told me that he can't bring me along because it's between them two and I respected it but when I was home, I was so nervous and scared because I was beginning to fall in love with my mat and shit just had to happen. Few hours later, he called me and told me that everything was settled and he still wanted to be with me.
Throughout our relationship, he told me that his ex wanted to meet him to take her stuffs back which occured in 2 different occassions. I was like, WTF!! because she could simply take it at one go. First to take her bag and then her camera. My mat told me that his mum would pass her the bag so I don't have to worry because since I got cheated with my ex-boyfriend, I get easily insecured over little things. The camera, however, my mat passed it to her but what I don't understand is my mat can pass it to her under the blk but he asked her to come up. My mat is another bloody fool. When I found out that he asked her up, of course, I scolded him like there's no tomorrow because he can pass it to her under the blk but he told me that he didn't think it was wrong because he just wanted to pass the camera. Because of this 2 incidents, we often get into big argument.
When our relationship was around 1 year old, I chanced upon his ex-fiance's blog and of course, I would read her archives and all and she portrays to be a 'Lesbian'. In her blog in one of her archives, she blogged that she went to his house to take the her bag (Note that my mat told me his mum passed it to her but he lied to me because he didn't want me to be jealous.) and when she took her bag, she and my mat were sitting together holding hands and she said that my mat asked her if she would wait for him in 3-4 years' time if I am not with him anymore. Imagine my temper when I read all that! I was so sad, angry and I burst into tears just by reading her blog. I confronted my bf and he admitted to me and he apologised to me. I asked him if he have no faith in our relationship, why did he be with me in the first place? I felt that I was just a rebound to him but he told me that I am not his rebound. God only knows. If he regarded me as his girlfriend of 1 year plus, why did he hold his ex's hand? As I am typing this, I still feel the pain because I shared with him about how I don't trust guys and when I really trusted my mat, he did shit to me.
Another incident was when his ex-fiance's dad was admitted to hospital. He lied to me that his uncle was admitted and when I went to his ex-fiance's blog, she blogged that her dad was admitted to the hospital. What a coincidence, I thought. So I told my mat that I knew it wasn't his uncle that was admitted but it was her dad. My bf again admitted and apologised and said that it was a white lie and he didn't want me to feel hurt and jealous and that he went there with his mum. Only God knows if he said that truth.
After all these incidents, our arguments was always due to this and my trust for him was ZERO. At one point of time, he called his ex-fiancee's mum to talk to her and he told her infront of me that he would never ever go back to her and forget about the going back together in 3-4 years and that, I was better than her. Despite all this that my mat did to make me trust him back, it is damn hard for me to trust him.
I am still with this mat, going to 2 years but almost everday, we would always argue. Call me stupid but I really love him and knowing my mat as a boyfriend for almost 2 years, at times, I can see how stupid and how slow he can be and maybe because of this, maybe he did what he did in the past but I accept him for the way he is but I am still sad that I'm being treated like this in the past even though I did not cheat him like his ex-fiance did.
I almost forget one important thing. His ex-fiance stayed in the same estate as me and my mat so it wouldn't be a surprise if I knew her friends or she knew mine. I have one used-to-be friend (we are longer friends or acquintance) who knew my mat's ex-fiance. She digged my past through that used-to-be friend and called me names like 'Prompuan-Rolling' over msn with one of her friends who is also my friend. My friend showed me the msn chat hence, I saw it with my own eyes! She also said that I was with my mat just for his bike and when my mat changed bike, she said that my mat didn't have enough money so he asked from his mat. I knew all this because one of her 'friends' told me and . I can't help but to hate her as well for ruin my relationship with my mat. She dared to call me 'Prompuan-Rolling' but when my mat confronted her, she denied. Such coward, she is. She dared to call me 'Prompuan Rolling' when she herself slept and cheated with my mat when they were together. Urggh!
So girls, I hope that if you are about to get to know your mat or if your mat ever got engaged, try to find out if he and his ex-fiancee have really broken up or there are things that are not cleared because it might trouble your relationship and one advice I always give my friends, try to avoid guys who got engaged before and also married guys, of course. Sometimes, it is not just the ex-fiancee's fault. It's the mat's fault for lying and not being honest about things that might damage a relationship. Up till now, I still have much difficulty trusting my mat but hey, it ain't my fault. Trust need to be earned, right girl? :) ¶ 10:15:00 AM
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