Most interesting MAT? From:________________________________
Sent: 21 February 2010 15: 55PM
To: knowyourmats@hotmail.com

I was reading about this blogspot since I knew about it yesterday. Skrg, aku nyer turn plak lah nk citer dkt sape2 yg bace nie blog. &; my name is, Ilah.
Cite aku mcm nie.

Dulu, aku pernah jadi butch utk 2 tahun lebih. Aku penah lah ader matair pompan. Aku jadi butch pon pasal jantan2 tak guna ahh. Aku dipermainkan. Sume tipu. Mcm soyal ah seriously. Jadi butch pon pasal aku tak tk leh trust any guys out there anymore ah. That time, hati2 aku btl2 mmg da benci laki2 dkt luar. Tgk muke drg pon jijik ah actually. Mmg aku tau ah, not all black sheep tapi I just can’t accept ah asal drg buat gitu dkt aku sume. One of them, tipu aku. Da tipu tkpe. Dier beli kan aku MP3 then dier mintak balek ah. Aku tros tak contact dgn dier ah. Dier main timer plak tu. Sot ajer otak. Tu pon time aku secondary school. Maseh anak2 abu lagi ah org ckp. Sayang dier giler babi, dpt tau dier main Alamak then name nk step Syafiq. Aku debik baru tau.

Dier cina tapi tau ckp melayu ah. Mmg aku da leh rase yg dier tu up to no good. But sayang nyer pasal, aku buat2 tak tau. Dier ingt, dier leh bodoh2 kan aku. Aku lari rumah, sume pasal dier.
Tros tu, during Nitec, aku tukar jadi butch. Da jadi butch, aku knl lah nie lelaki, Feez (name bedek), dkt Habbo after a year plus jadi senget. I know, childish ah main Habbo but aku btl2 melekat dkt tu tmpt lah time aku tkder kejer part time. Maseh blajar lagi lah that time. So kiter sembang2 lah dlm Habbo tu. Knl ramai kwn & most of them tau lah aku nie otak tak btl (senget lah katakan). They don’t mind. They’re actually an understanding people.

One day, aku masok lah Habbo. Then nmpk dier duduk satu tmpt ni. So aku pon join lah. Kirakan, nk buat kwn. Tapi utk dier, ingt kan aku nie step gerek nyer YP nk buat kwn dgn dier. Bbl mcm biasa tapi dier sarcastic giler dgn aku. Sot ajer otak. Sakit hati pon ader ah dgn tu mat.
From acquaintance, to mutual friends, to bestfriend. Aku knl dier pon da setahun lebih. When kiter bestfriend, dier tgh having, sort of bad break up lah dgn dier nyer ex minah dulu. Aku plak, tgh on the rocks dgn ex minah aku. Kata zaman2 butch, ader gf nyer. I was there every time he was really down.

Pasal dier tk tau lah asal dier nyer ex minah mcm tu. Aku coax dier lah. Before kiter bestfriend, aku penah jmpe dier skali ajer. Tu pon member Habbo ajak turon ah. Main sports. Kebetulan, dier pon turon jgk. Aku tak tau dier pon turon. Ader ah aku ajak dier tapi dier ckp dier malas nk turon pasal jauh.

Then the next outing, bdk2 Habbo had a picnic dkt ECP. I was invited. That time, klau tak salah aku, kiter da bestfriend. Dier mati2 nk aku turon ECP tau. He was looking forward to meet me. Lepak & all ah. Tapi aku tak blh lah that time pasal aku tak leh kluar rumah.
Then, kiter makan dinner same2 dgn cousins dier tau. Maklumlah, aku knl cousin dier sume. Kluar dinner then cousin pompan dier, ader rase mcm lain ah. Dier ckp dkt aku, mcm ader benda gitu antara aku dgn Feez nie. Tapi kiter nie mcm “brader” lah kirakan. Maner2 dier gi, aku ikot. “Brader” mah.

Dier lepak pon aku turon. Kirakan, kite btl2 nyer rapat giler ah. Slalu lepak dgn cousin lelaki dier ah. Dier ader jgk hint aku benda. Dier panggil aku “Baby, B” sume. Aku buat tk tau ah. Pasal that time, we were “gaying” around.

Then one day, he wasn’t being himself. Blh rasa ah that time. Time tu, klau tak salah, 2nd week of Ramadhan ah. Aku pon kluar dgn member aku buka luar abeh aku that time tak text dier sgt. Aku nk balek, baru aku text dier. Text dier, he wasn’t that cheerful tau. Slalu kiter bbl bende mepek giler. Being random ah katakana. Aku tau, ader benda yg tak kena actually tapi aku tak tnyr dier thru text. Aku tunggu sampai aku balek then online, baru aku tnyr. Aku sampai rumah, mandi sume. Then aku online. That time, aku nk blajar for upcoming exam or test. So, aku tnyr dier lah knape & all.

Dier ckp, dier ader rase mcm ader org bbl pasal dier & dier ingt ader org hate dier to the max. Aku tau, dier ader satu penyakit nie. Aku tak kesah sgt. Then kiter gadoh lah dlm MSN tu. Dier sarcastic dgn aku. Aku melalak that malam jgk. Aku tumbok tembok ah. Aku bbl dgn kwn aku. Aku cite kan lah dgn dier. Dier pon terkejot ah. Then kwn aku nie, gi blang Feez aper yg aku buat sume. Dier tutop laptop, dier baring dkt katil, dier renungkan ah aper dier buat dkt aku. Krg imagine lah, aku tak bersalah pon dier mcm tu.

Next day, dier bbl dgn aku dkt MSN. I did saw him dkt MSN but takot nk tegor pasal nanti dier sarcastic dgn aku lagi so aku diamkan diri & let him talk to me. He did & asked me whether I’m okay. I was okay then I asked him back lah. Dier pon okay. Then tiba2 dier asked 3 random questions tau.
1st question dier tnyr,

“What will you do if you found out that the furniture around your house went missing?”

2nd question dier tnyr,
“What will I do when I saw Mickey Mouse infront of you?”
Aku tau, nie sume mepek tapi ……

Dier nyer last question;
“What if I like you?”

Aku pon cuak ah depan laptop. Aku tnyr diri sendiri, btl ke tak btl? Aku tnyr dier gini dkt dier, “you know right I’m a butch?” Dier ckp, dier tau tapi dier tk kesah langsung. I asked him, asal he like me? He explained everything. Ader satu part nie, dier sweet giler. Dier ckp gini “Thinking of what I did to you yesterday, I knew, I never wanna let you go.” Aku dah, caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair beb. Cair giler ah.

Then aku diam kan diri jab pasal aku bace aper dier type dkt MSN berulang kali. Abeh dier ckp gini “Nevermind, forget about it. I know it’ll never come true.” Beb, aku da cuak giler. Aku tak tau aper nk buat jgk that time. Aku da tersengeh depan laptop aku tau. Then I asked him this “so, what’s next?” Dier reply, “Will you be my girlfriend.” Aku da senyum mcm kambing. Aku pon accept dier lah in the end. Pada mula nyer, aku tak biasa pasal aku butch. Lama kelamaan, aku biasa kan diri.

Sampai skrg lah kiter matair. Nk dkt 6bln. Dier tak seromantic maner pon, aku tetap saying dier. Dier tkder rupa tapi aku tau dier mmg ikhlas nk ubah kan aku & all. Parents kiter pon da tau tentang kite. Dier bkn typical mat yg gi clubbing & isap rokok nyer. He’s the good boy nyer type tapi bkn anak mak lah. Both of us, quitted smoking. Both of us decided to let go of the past & look forward to the future.

Dier yg dulu sarcastic giler, skrg da tak sarcastic. Dulu, dier mind his own his own business. Dier tak kesah langsung pasal org2 sekeliling dier. Dier pon tak campor family ah. Living in his own world lah kata kan. Skrg, dier btl2 da berubah. Dier campor dgn family dier. Bbl & all. Dulu dier anti social. Skrg tak. Dier mix around even thou tak knl. Byk perubahan lah pada diri dier. When aku cite kan dkt kwn2 Habbo kiter, drg mcm tak caye ah aku nie matair dgn Feez. Pasal drg tau, aku tk kn berubah jadi pompan balek when I found the right person. & now, I found the right person.

Tu lah cite aku. Aku ader jgk cite kan tentang nie dkt kwn2 aku. Drg ckp it’s interesting ah. I don’t know lah about the readers here. & I know, Feez will read this   ¶ 10:22:00 PM